I seriously struggled with anxiety and depression in high school, but was so repressed/self-loathing/whatever that I couldn't even bring myself to connect the mental health issues to sexuality. I suppose I would say that being out of the closet was vital in that it took one more thing off of my burden, which I could barely handle as it was, and if I'd had to deal with everything else and be in the close too I probably wouldn't have made it.Ĭoming out was a critical part of accepting my sexuality and loving that part of me. for a few years, and the abject poverty resulting from having to drop out of college didn't help either. Impending doom, because I knew I would have to drop out and had no idea how I was going to support myself when I did.Īs a result I would say I probably wasn't.Stress and depression that I no longer had my dog to live for.Relief that I could finally come out and get laid.(He was the only thing in my life that actually made me feel loved, and for years I literally only didn't commit suicide because I couldn't bear the thought of what it would do to him.) Also, I'd just started college, secure in the knowledge that I'd get a year or two and then have to drop out because my mother had taken about half of my college fund, so I had a combination of feelings: I know that doesn't seem related, but he was a huge part of what kept me sane. My problem is that two things happened at about the same time: I came out, and my dog died. I always knew I'm gay, so wanting to come out was just wanting to release all the mental pressure I'd been under from hiding it.